Praying Mantis

In Extraordinary by kimcaloca

Sometimes I take for granted what an extraordinary life I lead. I’m a stay-at-home-single-mom. I own my own home – nobody’s name on that title but my own. No income to pay for it except that which comes in through service I provide in my online business. I drive a nice car. That I bought after my poor 15-year-old car …

Promises Kept

In Divorce by kimcaloca

My son became a big brother today. There was a time in my life I thought I would be the one to mother his sibling. And I may still. But it won’t be with his father. The day I revealed to him that I had filed for divorce is a bit of a blur. I know it was a Sunday. …

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10th Anniversary

In Divorce, Grief by kimcaloca

Ten years ago today, I stood in front of 250 people and promised forever to a man I loved completely. I remember the strangest details. Getting bagels in the morning with my maid of honor. My future sister in law scolding me to smile at the salon. Nervously waiting with my dad before walking down the aisle. The turquoise blue …

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The Greatest Paradox

In Parenting by kimcaloca

I never imagined myself getting divorced. I thought I would really have that whole ‘happily ever after’ thing. 4 years ago, the reality of the possibility of divorce started creeping up on me. And 3 years ago, I filed. I didn’t have any money in savings. I used a credit card that my ex wasn’t on to pay my attorney’s …

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Make A Decision

In Just Do It by kimcaloca

In January of 2014, I was completely broke. I was living in a travel trailer parked in my grandma’s yard. I had a spreadsheet that listed out the trips I needed to make for custody exchanges with my ex-husband. I knew the mileage I got on my car and I had to make sure I was going to have enough …

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With Great Joy Comes Great Sorrow

In Divorce, Grief, Parenting by kimcaloca

Last year, I read this open letter to a stepmom and wrestled with all of my feelings about it. First, I wanted to throat-punch the author. Then, I wanted a relationship like that with “my” stepmom. Finally, the despair of deep acceptance that I’ll never have that kind of relationship with my son’s stepmom. The thing is, that’s only a …

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A Lot

In Parenting by kimcaloca

Today was a day of a lot. A lot of work. A lot of play. A lot of laughter. A lot of joy. I don’t delude myself that every day can be so full. Or can it? Maybe when I stay open to all of life, it can be. Because only when you are open can you be filled.  

A Favorite of Mine

In Uncategorized by kimcaloca

I dread the moment I realize I have read this to my son for the last time. We started reading this one before he was 2 years old. And when he was about 2 1/2, he went through a phase of insisting on reading it TO ME. Now at bedtime, he tells me to close my eyes, and that it’s …

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It Goes By So Fast

In Parenting by kimcaloca

  Tonight, my kiddo was disappointed that I did not lie down next to him. I had intended to do the dishes and come right back. The dishes didn’t take long; there weren’t many. But when I was done, I noticed he was quiet. “Are you asleep already?” No response. I went over to his bed, and of course, he …

You’re Only As Ordinary As You Feel

In Uncategorized by kimcaloca

Two years ago today, I highlighted this on my kindle: As this cycle continues you feel stupid, defeated, and begin to believe that maybe you really are the central problem. Often the spouse begins to be deeply torn between wanting to know what else he/she could do to help the marriage and feeling cynical / fearful / blamed by any …